I had a post to share, but it was in my head. It’s not safe in there. Inspiration hit after enjoying a baby shower on Sunday, and I was tickled pink with my cleverness and hilarity, giggling all the way to my one actual class this week, and then walking out of it with absolutely no recollection of what was so amusing. The curse of the mom-brain strikes again. Ask the two people I spoke to last week (separately, but on the same day) who both responded graciously, I should say, when I started a sentence and forgot the rest of it three words in.
Anyway, I’m off track here. I hope that post is still to come, but in the meantime, I was journaling today for my new online class, Advanced Spiritual Formation, and I think I’d like to share it. It started out as gratitude journaling, and ended up as a prayer. When I reread it, it was totally coherent and I thought hey, this would be a good one to share on my blog. So spiritual.
It’s funny because I just finished reading two chapters in Richard J. Foster’s Celebration of Discipline that both addressed the issue of our tendency to verbally justify everything we do. Whether it is a questionable act or comment, or a good one we fear could be taken the wrong way, we always feel the need to explain ourselves. We talk too much, instead of letting our actions speak for themselves. Hmmm.
It is scary that this is so true. Uncomfortably true, because here I am doing it again. This whole introduction is explaining why I’m posting what I am posting. Could I have just posted my journaled prayer and let it speak for itself? Hmmm.
Thank you, Lord, for a warm home that is strong against the Kansas winds. Thank you for your protection through the physical storms as well as the emotional ones. Thank you for a comfy chair, a spacious desk with two working computers, more supplies than I need, and plenty of items to remind me of how full and blessed my life is. Thank you for a mug of coffee to enjoy and a cozy electric blanket to keep me warm while I work. Thank you for my wonderful husband and beautiful children – patient, and kind, and unconditionally loving. Thank you for the future you have for me. Forgive me for trying to rush it or figure it out. Help me to see and trust the full perfection of your plan, even if it doesn’t include the elements I want it to. You have brought me to this place, which is better than I had ever imagined. Guide me. Make me sensitive to your leading. Let me hear, and grant me the courage to act on, your yeses and your nos. Thank you for redemption and blessing undeserved. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
Oh, and I guess it’s obvious that I haven’t decided to shut down the blog just yet (explaining my actions again). I told you I change my mind a lot. But the idea isn’t out of the running. We’ll see when it comes time to renew it for another year. In the meantime, thanks for your support, my faithful commenters, and to the one person subscribed with the email address I didn’t recognize – thank you for reading, and thank you for telling me you do! I can’t even say how much that means to me. I am blessed to know that you are a part of this little community! I’ll admit, four responses is a small and humbling following, but you four matter, and have cared enough to encourage me, so I shall persist, my dear ones.
Now I must go. Did I not mention there are five required textbooks for this six-week online class!? Crack the whip. This old mule’s got work to do.